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Wednesday, September 26, 2018

The Great Debate: “500 Days of Summer”

Team Summer: Emily Wells and Fatima Mirza, Senior Staff Writers Tom from “500 Days of Summer” is without a doubt one of the most infuriatingly cliche hipsters ever to come to the big screen. He...

Students held at gunpoint, booty nearly stolen

Three students were held at gunpoint by two pirates at the mouth of the Colorado River at 11:30 p.m. on March 26. Out for a refreshing moonlit swim to the C, the students had...

No Challenges Remaining

Buenos días Most tennis fans are familiar with the phrase "no challenges remaining." After a player has used their three allotted objections, the umpire mouths the words that silence any further discussion about a right...

UCR men’s baseball coach Troy Percival: “I’m back.”

UC Riverside’s baseball Head Coach Troy Percival held an emergency press conference on Sunday, April 1 to make an announcement that he said would change lives. When Percival stepped up to the mic he...

Obama to deliver graduation speech at UCR, ditches UCI

In a press conference on Monday, President Barack Obama announced that he would be moving the location of his 2014 commencement speech from UC Irvine to UC Riverside. The commencement speech was originally intended...

Illuminati Confirmed: Secret society holds rituals at Bell Tower to shape time

The Ordo Temporis (OT), a branch of the Illuminati — a secret society formed in 18th century Europe and purported to rule the world from “behind the scenes” — was recently discovered to have...

UCR football plans new stadium expansion

After winning their second national title in three years, the UC Riverside Athletics Department has decided to a pursue a 10 million dollar expansion of the UCR stadium. The football program has seen every home...

Under the Kilt: The secret to happiness

The value of any human being can only be measured by the riches in his or her pockets or daily outfit. If you can't sense a gold mine from the first step, please refrain...

Goodbye R’Gear, hello puppies

Critics of ASUCR’s decision to spend nearly $35,000 on R’Gear sweaters were left perplexed this week as ASUCR announced its decision to instead use these funds to buy puppies. In a plan catchily named...

Top 7 most anticipated Spring Splash acts

Spring Splash is just around the corner. You know what means — great music, great food, great vibes and great fun. Word around the street says ASPB is narrowing their options for what kind...