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Riverside, US
Tuesday, September 25, 2018

Track and field stadium contains a time vortex, according to UCR department of physics

A mystery has arisen at the new UCR track and field stadium. The construction of the track has caused a mysterious vortex to develop, sending runners back in time 5 to 7 minutes when...

UCR baseball claims victory in Earth’s first Inter-glacial baseball friendly

The UCR baseball team squared off against the Zepton Martians this spring break in what could stand as the greatest game and only game they have ever played on our planet. The Martians were...

UC Riverside men’s soccer creates soccer academy

The development of youth is the key to succeed at any discipline. It has been demonstrated, throughout time, that creating programs to develop the skills of athletes at a young age is crucial to...

Re-Decision 2012, Lebron James decides to play college basketball

LeBron James wants to suspend his NBA career and finish his academic career while playing basketball at the collegiate level. At the end of the season, James will take his talents to southern California...

Highlander Quidditch team to be introduce as part of student exchange program

The announcement of a student exchange program between Durmstrang Institute and UC Riverside has led to the formation of a Highlander Quidditch team. The student exchange program is part of the Muggle Studies school...

Magic Johnson sells Dodgers for $5

RIO-SIDE Erving “Magic” Johnson immediately regretted his decision to buy the Dodgers for $2.15 billion dollars. Realizing how worthless of an investment the Dodgers would turn out to be in the short and long term,...

Stern voids Session’s trade

PBHAK’S CORNER The NBA commissioner David Stern pulled off the biggest bombshell out of all the craziness in the world of sports by reversing the Sessions deal. Stern actions prove to eclipse other sport headlines...

NCAA announces ban on sports idioms

Sports idioms have been banned by the NCAA for use by any media, including journalists and television commentators, after an uproar of the usage of sports idioms incorrectly. The NCAA came to the decision...

Movie Trailer Reviews

What To Expect When You’re Expecting Oh, great. Yet another movie with too many stars and most likely little or no plot. Other than that the trailer tells us nothing. I’m expecting that “What to...

The Great Debate: “500 Days of Summer”

Team Summer: Emily Wells and Fatima Mirza, Senior Staff Writers Tom from “500 Days of Summer” is without a doubt one of the most infuriatingly cliche hipsters ever to come to the big screen. He...